Live It Out
by Mona85
Summary: Chase is changing and everyone notices. Can anything be done? Warning for abuse, ED, selfharm
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! This is my first House story and hopefully it will go ok. I really appreciate comments, more so if you can give me advice. **

**Note: obviously I don't own any of the characters etc etc. Also the title of the story is a song by Metric so I don't own that either. **

**chapter 1**

It had been a long day and he was glad to finally get out of the hospital. Foreman and Cameron had asked him if he didn't want to go have a drink with them after work but all he wanted was to get away from them, go back to his apartment, and be left alone. House was away for the upcoming week so for once Chase felt less irate when he left the hospital.

The drive back home took too long and he could feel himself getting more and more anxious. He couldn't wait to take a long shower and crawl under the covers and get some rest. He would not think about other ways he could use to relax himself. Maybe tonight he wouldn't end up there.

His apartment was not very far from the hospital, just a 15 minutes drive. The area was ok and the flat looked pretty good. The apartment had a bedroom linked to a normal sized bathroom, a living room, kitchen, another bathroom and a nice balcony. One thing that stood out though was the lack of warmth. Everything was almost sterile. The furniture was nice but the place didn't look homey; no pictures displayed, no small objects. Even the multitude of books in the bookshelves were arranged in a certain order. Chase separated the medical books from the rest. Everything was arranged alphabetically, read books separated from the unread. The whole place just seemed too clean.

Chase went in the bedroom to get rid of his work clothes. He never did feel comfortable in them. He took a long shower, the hot water almost burning his skin. He could feel his muscles relaxing and by the time he stumbled in his room he was half asleep. But 2 hours later he was awaken by a nightmare. He felt agitated, unable to stop the flood of images in his head. He was no stranger to nightmares but for the last month or so they had been getting increasingly worse. He never got more than 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Realizing he would not calm down anytime soon on his own, Chase went to the bathroom looking for the only thing that seemed to work during nights like this one. He took the razor blade from the cabinet above the sink, and sat on the bathroom floor. He stared intently at the blade for a few moments, as if trying to make up his mind whether he wanted this or not. He always gave in. He made a small cut on his ankle, feeling very little relief yet. Blood started dripping slowly on the bathroom floor but it wasn't enough. He made another 2 cuts and he finally felt himself relax. He watched the blood flow for a minute then decided to clean up and attempt to sleep while he was still under the influence of this "drug". This had become a nightly ritual. For years he had been cutting himself only once in a while, when things got too overwhelming for him. With and alcoholic and abusive mother and an absent and uncaring father it had become the only way he could deal with everything happening.

About a month ago things started changing though. Cuddy had been short of staff and had asked him to do some hours in the ER. House had no real say in this and even so he had to take it up with Cuddy.

A 12 year old had been brought in, with a broken arm and a concussion. He claimed he had fallen down the stairs. When Chase went to talk to the mother he could feel the alcohol breath. He had sensed it so many times on his mother and it brought a shiver down his spine. She told him her son, Mark, was running down the stairs and had tripped and fallen. Chase noticed the woman couldn't look in his eyes and she was quite agitated. When asked about Mark's father the woman said he had left 3 months before. He was having an affair. Their divorce had not yet been finalised. When just a bit after they found fading bruises as well as newer ones on Mark's torso and legs the sings of abuse were clear. That and the mother's drunken state were evidence enough for the Social Services to be called. The father had been called, he took the kid in, and the story ended. But not for Chase. This had hit too close for home.

Since then the nightmares about his past had intensified allowing him only 4-5 hours of sleep every night. This combined with working with a men like House and with the shifts in the ER that he was doing for Cuddy were leaving him exhausted. He was slowly moving closer to the edge and this nightly ritual seemed to have become the only thing keeping him sane.

He knew Foreman and Cameron had noticed something was different. Cameron seemed to be fussing over him a bit, making him uncomfortable with all the attention. Foreman and him were never close and yet Foreman made it a point to invite him out for a drink every once in a while and ask how he'd been. House of course was being an ass to him as always. His snide remarks were getting under his skin even though he knew ignoring the man would work so much better. But luckily for him House had left the day before for one week. There was a conference in NY and Cuddy had made him go. House had tried everything to get out of it but it seemed Cuddy still had some power over him and in the end he really had no choice. It amused Chase that for once his boss didn't get what he wanted. It was a rare thing.

Realising he'd been sitting on the cold bathroom floor for a while now, just lost in his thoughts, he got up to get the very well stocked first aid kit. After taking care of the cuts and cleaning the place he went back to bed, hoping for some rest. It was 2 am by now. His shift started at 7. This meant he would have to be up in just 4 hours. He checked again to make sure the alarm was set right and closed his eyes. Maybe for once in a long time he would finally sleep till the morning.

**End of chapter 1. **

**Please leave a comment!  
**

**Also I am looking for someone to proofread the chapters. I tend to miss out on some mistakes even after re-reading 3-4 times. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: obviously I don't own any of the characters etc etc. **

**House will be out of character a lot during the story and I know that so please don't comment to tell me how dumb that is ******

**Chapter 2**

6 am came too fast. Chase groaned as the alarm clock yelled. He felt like he had gotten only 10 minutes of sleep all night and with how fitful his sleep had been it was no wonder.

Unlike every other morning today he would skip the indoor bicycle in favour of some rest. But after 5 minutes of tossing and turning he realised he'd rather workout for 15 min and feel like he's doing something useful. 20 minutes before 7, after a short workout and a long shower he was ready to go. All that was left was a stop to a small place near his apartment to get some bagels for the others and a coffee for himself.

He always got to work first therefore able to skip the questions from Cameron about why he wasn't eating breakfast with them. She was nagging him enough lately without any reason but the fact that he was an easy target!

With House gone, they wouldn't be getting any patients. Cuddy had said they should catch up on their clinic hours and Chase could continue working some shifts in the ER. What he hadn't thought about was House. He was shocked when he saw the man in his office asleep in his armchair, music a bit too loud for his taste. He didn't need any of his sarcasm so early in the morning so he finished his coffee and started a crossword, waiting for the others to come. With House back they would probably have a case soon.

In his office House watched Chase go on with his daily routine. He would never admit it to anyone (and it's not like anyone would ever suspect or believe him) but he was concerned about him. Before leaving for the conference he had noticed Chase becoming more withdrawn, he had seen the shadows under his eyes and had noticed the increasing weight loss. He was surprised Cameron hasn't said anything about it yet, but then again he was still the sick puppy that the woman kept trailing after. "Sick puppy!?" definitely spent too long near Cameron to even come up with that, thought House amused.

A bit after 8, Foreman and Cameron walked in together, Foreman teasing Cameron when she tried (but was stopped immediately but Chase) from trying to brew some coffee.

House silently entered the office making Foreman and Cameron jump.

"Morning ducklings, missed me?"

"House! I thought…" but Cameron didn't get to finish.

"Got bored" House interrupted her.

"You were only there…"

"For 2 hours and a half. Rest was sight seeing"

"But…"

"No, the conference was not interesting" House interrupted her again.

Cameron started on a bagel clearly frustrated with House by now.

"Chase, want one?" Cameron asked in a slightly annoyed tone still.

"Cameron, you ask every morning. The answer is still no since I had one when I got here" Chase answered in an amused tone, not noticing the calculated look he got from House.

"Ok, ok! Then pass me some coffee please? I still don't understand why you guys don't like mine", she said while glaring at Foreman and Chase as they both gave her almost disgusted looks.

By now House wanted to go back to doing nothing so he interrupted the banter.

"Make yourselves useful while I take my beauty nap" he said, already out the door.

"Awesome…another day doing nothing. Foreman come to the clinic with me?" Cameron asked after Chase left to work in the ER.

"Sure. Maybe we can find an interesting case to bring him" he replied, nodding to House.

"Doubt it" Cameron smirked.

What they didn't know was that House had found his case. Chase was becoming one of his newest puzzles, one that he needed to solve as soon as possible before the young man crashed.

**End of chapter 2**

**Note: I don't know when the next chapter will be up. I have had this one written for a long time just didn't get to type it up. I will try and not take so long again :P**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: I had practically abandoned this story until I got a threatening email from Emily (Bubbles2mySoda), who promised to chain me to my desk if I didn't write another chapter. So here's the new one. Thanks to everyone's that's been reviewing this story for months and asking me to continue. **

**House is most likely very out of character, be warned. **

**Chapter 3**

It had been going on the same for almost a week, with the minor change of actually having a patient, on his way to being discharged now. Chase's routine was the same and by now House was expecting the usual lie in the morning. He was getting nowhere with this puzzle and by now he was done waiting. He needed answers and he needed them soon. Today he would get closer to knowing the truth whether Chase liked it or not.

The others arrived, finding Chase as usual doing his crossword, with bagels in front of him and the coffee already brewed.

"Morning" they both greeted, receiving a small reply from Chase, who was engrossed in the crossword.

"Any cases?" Foreman asked while watching Chase chew on his pen…as always. What was it with this oral fixation he had, Foreman wondered not for the first time.

"No, besides, we already had a case this week. It should be enough for House" Chase answered, rolling his eyes.

He knew he should probably see if he could help Cuddy again today, seeing as there was no reason to stick around here. He had once again been surprised walking in the office earlier in the morning and noticing House already there. This wasn't like him…House was always late and yet this week he'd been in early every morning. He found it a bit disconcerting. He had also felt a bit _watched _by the older man which was adding to his wish to just get out of here. It had not been a good night. Come to think about it, it had not been a good week at all. He felt exhausted and the nightmares were plaguing him. The small cuts had gotten a bit bigger. He knew he was playing with fire but right now this was getting him through the day…or night.

Noticing Chase lost in his own little world and Foreman and Cameron settling down, House decided it was time to get his answers.

"Foreman and Cameron, go to the clinic and do some hours in my name", House suddenly said, emerging from his office and startling the three doctors.

"What about Chase?" Cameron asked, curious what House had in store for Chase. It wasn't something nice, that much she was sure of.

"Chase has a case here. Now go." House answered, not taking his eyes of Chase. He knew that even though the other two had left they would discuss this for the next hours and grumble about the unfairness of it all. He didn't give a shit.

Settling in a chair near the intensivist he casually started what he hoped to be a revealing talk.

"So…how was breakfast?"

"What?! I thought we had a case. Don't think whether I enjoyed breakfast or not is relevant to anything" Chase answered, a bit suspicious. This was definitely not what he had expected from House. He had to wonder what exactly _had _House noticed about him over the last few days. And then he decided, House wouldn't care anyway if something were happening. House was just being his curious self. No reason to worry about some dumb questions. Not to mention knowing House, they might just prove relevant at some point.

"Chase, stay in this world, not your little fantasy one" House said, noticing Chase getting a glazed look on his face. "Now, this is relevant to me, so answer the question"

"It was good, now why is this important? What case are we solving and why aren't Foreman and Cameron here with us?" Chase asked a bit annoyed.

"Liar. You didn't have any breakfast" House replied, noticing Chase is most definitely surprised by the sudden turn. "You didn't have any today or yesterday or any of this week's mornings. You haven't had any in a few weeks. And you lying to me about it just now certainly makes things interesting. So what's going on wombat?" House asked, clearly enjoying this.

**Note: I have no clue when the next chapter will be up. I will most definitely not make any promises on that anymore!**


End file.
